I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them