Texts From Last Night

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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.

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  (709): She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it. http://tfl.nu/7xo2
  Replies (26) Good night (463) Bad night (4282) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize

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  (937): dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize http://tfl.nu/5hy5
  Replies (17) Good night (3475) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America

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  (615): I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America http://tfl.nu/yesg
  Replies (20) Good night (4089) Bad night (816) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?

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  (774): Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id? http://tfl.nu/53ps
  Replies (6) Good night (3475) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory

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  (615): She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory http://tfl.nu/j2ic
  Replies (3) Good night (2700) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.

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  (214): No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds. http://tfl.nu/2lul
  Replies (42) Good night (1755) Bad night (6451) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation

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  (801): stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation http://tfl.nu/ct0r
  Replies (16) Good night (2487) Bad night (1191) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."

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  (850): He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket." http://tfl.nu/lw9r
  Replies (2) Good night (1397) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles

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  (516): If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles http://tfl.nu/okmw
  Replies (4) Good night (1429) Bad night (993) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.

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  (412): You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!! (412): I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten. http://tfl.nu/bqpb
  Replies (13) Good night (3476) Bad night (579)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake

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  (630): Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake http://tfl.nu/dh07
  Replies (3) Good night (1062) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.

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  (920): Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees. http://tfl.nu/3c2q
  Replies (8) Good night (1253) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle

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  (484): My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs (610): I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle http://tfl.nu/o9xz
  Replies (13) Good night (2539) Bad night (398)
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  (415): View more from California

  What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises

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  (415): What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises http://tfl.nu/lzak
  Replies (4) Good night (1114) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.

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  (920): I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it. http://tfl.nu/sqkc
  Replies (2) Good night (623) Bad night (108) Order T-Shirt

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