She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
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Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
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You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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