is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
