It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
