I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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