**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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