She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
