My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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