last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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