Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.