I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
