just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
