What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
