But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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