Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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