did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I don't think brook has ever known best
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
