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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
are you so shy because you have an std?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
