Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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