I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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