Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
