xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
