the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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