At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
