You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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