you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
