there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
