i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
