I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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