Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
A bitchslap is in order.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
