my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
