I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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