I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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