don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
