Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
