Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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