i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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