I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
