You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
