It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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