I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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