Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
