Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
