I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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