Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
