i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
