But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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