just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize