i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
