tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize