she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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