so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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