pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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