look no pants
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
