It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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