Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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